An blonde went into a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any parrots.
The owner replied, "Sorry, I don't have any at the moment."
"Blast!" said the blonde, "I have been invited to a fancy dress party for the first time in my life and I want to go as a Pirate. I have been told to be as authentic as possible, and that's why I need the parrot" explained the Blond.
"Well" said the owner, "if you come back here next week, specifically on Thursday, I am expecting a shipment from South America and I'll be able to supply you with a parrot, guaranteed"
"Blast!" said the blonde, "I can't come on that day, or for some time after."
"Why not?" Asked the owner.
"Because that is the day I'm having my leg amputated!"