By Lisa Penza!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

We’re only weeks away from angsty goth teen Christmas: Halloween! A trip to Party City may cost you a limb as we get closer to the date (or, you know, just a really long wait in a line), so I figured, why not create a guide to help you pick out a killer costume? And if this really is helpful, I can hopefully convince my parole officer it counts as community service. It’s nothing but win when you follow the Lindsay Lohan guide to criminal justice!

This Halloween, why not dress up as your favorite Drop Dead Comedy character? Great idea, right? Party goers will be thrilled when you walk in the door. You’ll be inundated with people recognizing you.

Hawt Waldo Whack costume, bro!

So here’s a guide for the guy or gal looking to inject a little Drop Dead Comedy into their Halloween!

Be the toast of the teen party in your very own Thalia Barzini costume!

In order to capture this exquisite look, you’ll need a few things:

• A dress, preferably from the discount rack at Estelle’s
• Body hair
• Aquanet and a deluded self-image

Looking for something a little more mature? Why not give Rosie Kramps a try! (She’ll really like that – trust me)

For this look, you’ll need:

• Ill fitting sparkle pants
• A complete lack of respect for others personal space
• An empty bathroom stall, or in a pinch an empty dumpster, for the inevitable conquest – someone’s gonna be drunk enough to make this mistake.

We haven’t forgotten you men, ps. Why not wow your friends as a Juggy brother?

All you’ll need is:

• A coonskin cap and overalls
• Enough moonshine to consider doing Rosie
• Sal Catura. After all, what’s one Juggy? Who the hell wants that?

No need to thank me for this invaluable guide. Have a safe and happy Halloween, and watch out for me! I’ll be dressed as April.

Jealous